Carpe Diem
by Shayz
Summary: Timing's everything, words don't always work and procrastination is Elizabeth's middle name. Notjustclosets Challenge round #3 Ep: Sateda Not For Kids!


Notjustclosets Challenge - round #3 Episode: Sateda – season 3  
(http colon slash slash community dot livejournal dot com/notjustclosets/profile)

story note: This turned out way more fluffy than sexy than I expected. I re-watched this ep (total hardship of course with all the Sparky eye-sexing going on – and Rambo Ronon!) to get some bits of dialogue since I wanted to write a quick missing PWP scene. However, my muse took me in a crazy different direction once I noticed that Elizabeth was wearing spankin' new stylish footwear and John was the only one to have the sexy new leather jacket… it snowballed from there. But I blame most of it on the scene between Teyla and Shep on the Daedalus when he gives her that little smile after saying Elizabeth's name… as in, Teyla knows how John feels about Elizabeth and that's as much of an admittance as he can make because he's SO BAD with the words. Okay, on with the show…

shameless pimpage:  
if you don't check out my livejournal fic archive (http colon slash slash rylinash dot livejournal dot com/2006/01/03/) your missing out on my funky artwork title pages I can't post here ;)

**CARPE DIEM**

_**Starring:  
**__Colonel John Sheppard, Dr. Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan, Dr. Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex_

"You gave her boots," McKay said again. "Albeit, lovely, black leather as soft as butter… but–"

"McKay!" John groaned.

"What's your point?" Ronon asked.

McKay waggled a finger at John. "Men don't buy women shoes–"

"Their boots."

"Do they go on her feet or not?" McKay shot back.

Teyla's brows furrowed. "I do not understand. How was this gift inappropriate?"

"It wasn't," John said firmly. "Look. She was limping around for weeks trying to break in the 220 Trops for no reason. It's not like she's hiking mountains around here. She's in the city. And as much as we all step on her toes–"

"Speak for yourself!" McKay interrupted.

"–she really doesn't need steel toed protection."

"They have heels," McKay said. "Why have her wearing heels, hmm?"

"They came that way."

"Or is there some other reason… say… subconsciously…"

"There's no subconsciously anything, McKay. It was a friendly gesture."

"That makes her almost as tall as you…" McKay smirked. He motioned to Ronon and Teyla. "See where I'm going with this."

Teyla's soft smile and the glint in her eyes gave John the impression that she thought the gift was more than just a friendly gesture as well. However, she was kind enough not to add to McKay's ridiculous remarks. "I see nothing wrong with friends giving gifts, Rodney. And, if there is a reason behind such a gift, then it is between the giver and the receiver and not us."

"Thank you, Teyla."

Ronon leaned forward on his elbows. "So, he's saying you want to kiss Dr. Weir, right?"

John gasped. "What? No!"

"See… the caveman can get it…"

"McKay!" John had a sudden urge to whip off his boot and throw it at the man.

"Get what?" Elizabeth asked as she came into the room.

John shot McKay a quelling look and for once, the guy didn't disappoint. "That it's just wrong… for him…" he pointed at John. "To be the only one to get the new, cool looking leather jacket."

John always wondered why Elizabeth had that affect on the usually tactless scientist. He was at once protective and possibly scared to death of her. It was an amusing conundrum. John played into the cover though. "Maybe because I'm the only one who can pull it off." He chimed back with a lazy grin, his arm draped over the back of his chair in the conference room.

"Really?" Teyla responded with a raised brow.

John's grin faded as he caught both Teyla and Ronon staring at him. "I mean… well…" he chuckled tightly. "You two are already… exceedingly cool… all on your own."

"Good save," Elizabeth said taking her seat across from John. She looked fabulous as usual, but there had been a pleasant change since their latest alien encounter. She was, literally, letting her hair down now. Long curls curved around her face and brushed her shoulders. She looked soft, vulnerable. So very pretty.

John shifted in his seat. "Thanks," he grunted, dropping his gaze from hers when she smiled brightly at him. _Is it getting hot in here?_ Ronon and Teyla exchanged amused glances but he ignored them.

"Please," McKay snorted. "That was sub-par on the ass-kissing scale post faux pas."

With a perplexed yet amused expression, Elizabeth shook off McKay's statement and turned to the business at hand. "So, tell me about this planet."

McKay gave his preliminary report based on what he'd found in the ancient database: a planet perpetually in winter. Small population. Teyla added that she knew the people were fur and grain traders but that she had never traveled to the planet before. Ronon thought he recognized the address, but couldn't be sure.

"Well, given our last encounter… please be careful." She glanced at each one in turn. "And no bringing home any strays."

"Right," McKay said over Ronon's grunt of acknowledgment.

"Of course," Teyla said at the same time.

John nodded slowly. "Sure."

"Okay then. You have a go," Elizabeth gathered her laptop and headed out of the conference room. She could feel John following her but she didn't slow down. As much as she wanted to talk to him, as much as she needed to clear the air, this was not the time. _When is it ever?_

"Elizabeth," he called.

She finally turned after setting her laptop onto her desk and slipping into her chair. "John?"

"How are you feeling?" The teasing tone recently coloring his voice was absent. His brows cinched a little and he seemed worried.

Elizabeth clasped her hands in front of her, more to keep them from shaking than anything else. "I'm fine." Was her poker face really so bad? Had he seen through her forced chipper demeanor so easily? "How's your cold?"

He nodded, pulling a face. "I can breathe and smell again. It lasted longer than I expected." His gaze softened and he smiled lightly. "I…um… wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

John sprawled in the chair opposite her desk. "For my… teasing about Lucius. I… I didn't… I'm… um… sorry."

Elizabeth exhaled heavily, leaning back in her chair and allowed the shiver of disgust about her unwanted response to that man race her spine unchecked. "It's okay. I…" the side of her mouth quirked into a half grin. "I kind of expected it from you. Meant everything was back to normal. Thankfully." With a sorrowful shake of her head, she took a deep breath. "I'm just glad you were here to take care of the city when I was obviously incapable."

"You were drugged."

Elizabeth shot from her chair and paced her office, still shaking her head. She wrapped her arms around her waist. "That's no excuse, John. So many of my actions… my decisions lately… they've cost so much." Turning to him, she sighed. "Maybe the IOA is right to question my abilities."

"No!"

Elizabeth sat on the edge of her desk, fisting her hands against her thighs. "So much has happened in the last few months…" she shook her head again. "I'm afraid…"

John stood in front of her, his hands grasping hers, pulling open her hands, massaging her fingers to relax, giving her an encouraging squeeze. "There's no one better than you for this job, Elizabeth. No one I trust more. No one in the city would give you up." He lifted her chin, meeting her gaze dead-on. "You have to believe that."

She licked her lips. Stared into his eyes. Urging him to see what it was she couldn't put into words. That he was the reason she wasn't sure she could do this anymore. That when she'd been re-called to Earth to face the IOA, it wasn't her job she was worried about; wasn't the thought of losing Atlantis that kept her up at night. It was because she'd lost him… without ever telling him the truth.

That she was head over heels in love with him and it terrified her. As much as she'd cared for Simon… it was nothing compared to how John Sheppard affected her. Sometimes… she felt him inside her head as well as her heart. He was a part of her.

It wasn't so much that her focus was split—which is what had worried her from the beginning if she ever got involved with someone in the city—but that he was now her sole focus. She wanted John. She wanted him more than she wanted anyone or anything in her life. Even more than she wanted to stay on Atlantis. She couldn't sleep the ache was so bad. The desire just to be near him made her feel like a teenager all over again: giddy and afraid.

And she couldn't tell him. She couldn't burden him with that. Especially since he clearly didn't have any feelings for her other than friendship.

"I'm trying," she said finally.

John could tell she'd been thinking about something else. Her mind seemed to wander so easily lately. He wondered what the problem was that she refused to talk about. He may not be one to talk or show emotion openly but he always tried to be a good listener. And that's what friends did, right? They listened. They noticed when someone they cared about wasn't feeling well or wasn't getting enough rest… or not eating properly… or needed new boots. _Friends did those things, right?_

"After Lavin…"

John's back stiffened as his gut clenched. Seeing her fawning over that imbecile had nearly driven him insane. When Lavin put his hands on Elizabeth, John had wanted to shoot the man. It had taken all his will power not to do exactly that. "He didn't… I mean… you don't have to tell me, but…" John's gaze flitted around her office before landing on her again. "Did he… did you…?"

"No, thank God." Elizabeth took a cleansing breath. "Strange as it may sound, that… man," she snarled the last word, "actually had some sort of moral code; skewed and disturbing as it was… marriage was a necessary first step."

John's heart thumped with relief. He hadn't wanted to think about what might have happened, but the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach hadn't abated even after the city went back to normal. Lucius wasn't what he'd call an honorable kind of guy. And he'd had an extreme attachment to Elizabeth that had left John's gut twisting with worry. Not that he could blame the guy… she was, after all… Elizabeth. "So," he started after a long pause. "We're good?"

Her hands slipped from his and she slid off the desk, backing away from him. John didn't know what it meant, her moving away, but it felt like his heart dropped into his belly with a dull thud. She turned to him and gave him a slim smile. "Of course."

_No. Something else is wrong here._ "Elizabeth?"

"Colonel," Teyla came up behind him. "We are ready to leave when you are."

John sighed, bit into his lip as he looked back at Elizabeth. She gave a strong nod of approval and again that slim smile. "Be safe."

_Something is definitely off._ But it'd have to wait until they returned. It was just a meet-n-greet; they shouldn't be gone more than an hour, two tops. He'd make sure to spend time with her tonight, get her to tell him what's wrong. A couple of hours in between wouldn't hurt. John offered a casual grin. "Always." Then he followed Teyla out.

* * *

Elizabeth had strangled a cry when the gate shut down without John, Teyla and Ronon coming through. Not again. She tried to stave off all thoughts of worry and regret by taking care of Rodney, but that hadn't lasted once the man was doped on morphine.

Putting steel in her spine, Elizabeth vowed to tell John the moment she saw him again. The moment he came home, she would swallow her pride and tell him exactly what he meant to her. Love was a gift… he could accept hers, even if he couldn't return it. When the gate activated a few hours later, Elizabeth's heartbeat raced, she could feel the blood pumping through her veins, hear it in her ears.

"It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC, ma'am," Chuck said.

"Lower the shield." Elizabeth raced down the stairs, something she usually took slowly given how steep they were, but she couldn't wait to get to John.

"Someone get us some vests and guns."

It was only when he spoke that Elizabeth realized this wasn't going to be the right time no matter how much she wanted it to be. They had to save Ronon. Yes. John would be back, bringing Ronon with him. Once everyone was safe, then she'd tell him. It was only right to wait.

"Dial the gate," she told Chuck.

"It took us fifteen minutes to get to the gate," John said, not taking his eyes from her.

"The place could be crawling with Wraith by now," Teyla added.

As if Elizabeth needed another sign that she had to tell John before it was too late. Inwardly, she cursed herself for being such a coward these past few months. She could have told him at any time, should have told him. But now wasn't that time. Her feelings were nothing compared to Ronon's life.

John's seen Elizabeth worried before, but the look in her eyes is almost desperate. She wanted to tell him something. Something important, he just wished they had time. Obviously, whatever it was wasn't for public consumption or she would say it now in the Gateroom. He'd known she was holding back earlier.

"Let's go get him," the major said.

John glanced at him then back at Elizabeth. "See you soon." Of all the times she'd read his mind in the past, he hoped she could read it now. He was there for her. They would talk later. He just had to get Ronon back safe. He knew she understood. The job, the people they cared about, always came first, especially for Elizabeth.

* * *

"But we are still assuming the Wraith actually put another one in him," McKay said.

"I'll take whatever I can get," John had to dig deep to feel hopeful. Elizabeth was right; it's not like the Wraith were going to give Ronon a fair fight.

McKay sighed, shaking his head. "It'll take a while. An hour… two maybe…"

"Then get started," John said, trying to rein in his impatience.

"Come with me, Rodney," Carson said. "I'll get the tracking device for you." McKay nodded to John and Elizabeth then followed without comment… very unlike McKay.

The muscles in John's neck bunched with tension. He sighed heavily. Teyla rested a hand on his arm and he fought the flinch. "Perhaps we should get something to eat?" She asked.

John glanced at Elizabeth. She was looking his way but not seeing him it seemed as she tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth; her mind again somewhere else. "You go ahead."

"Elizabeth?" Teyla asked.

She seemed startled for a moment. "Sorry?" Elizabeth shook her head. "Oh, I'm not hungry."

"Very well." Teyla's gaze bounced between the two then she smiled softly at John. "I will see you later."

John nodded. He stepped over to Elizabeth. "Let's go."

Her eyes widened. "Where?"

"Some place private."

"Oh… um…" John gently nudged her with his hand at the small of her back. He guided her out of the conference room and to the nearest transporter. "Where are we going?"

"Your quarters."

"My…?"

John hit the spot on the map and within seconds they were on the right floor. "I know you want to talk about something, Elizabeth. I can see it in your eyes. It must be important… so you need to feel safe from prying eyes and ears. That means, your quarters."

"Alright," she said as they reached her door.

Once inside her room, John ushered her to the bed and had her sit. "So… what is it? What have I done now?"

"You? Nothing…"

"Then what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?"

"You're not yourself."

"Not myself?"

"Okay, now I know something's up. You're a word maven not a parrot."

Elizabeth laughed at that. Her shoulders relaxed even as her face flushed with color. Her eyes danced around her room. "I…" she got off the bed and paced just like before in her office, only this time she kept rubbing her palms over her pants. She stopped, looking down at her feet. "Why'd you by me boots?"

John's shocked by the sudden question. "You don't like them?"

"I love them…" she moved closer to him, right in front of him and John suddenly realized what McKay had been talking about. She's at the perfect height for him to kiss her. "Why…?"

"I saw them… I thought of you…" How could he tell her that he thought of her all the time? More than he was supposed to.

"You thought of me…?" her eyes were wide green saucers, full of light and questions.

"Is that a problem?"

"That depends." Elizabeth moved closer, so close he could feel her breath caressing his lips.

"On what?" he asked, his voice low and gravely. The last time they were this close, she'd hugged him. It was awkward, though not unwanted… John just hard time with public displays like that. Especially unexpected ones.

"On this." Suddenly her hands were on his neck, pulling him to her. Her lips met his in a soft, delicate kiss that lasted mere seconds but could impact the rest of their lives. She pulled back but her hands stayed on his skin, her thumbs gently rubbing behind his ears, warming him.

God. He wanted her hands all over him. Touching him. Right now!

John couldn't speak, could barely think. The look in her eyes told him how worried she was about what she'd just done, what she'd just revealed to him. He wasn't good at this sort of thing. He was horrible when it came to talking about… feelings.

Maybe it had nothing to do with feelings. Maybe it was purely physical… at least for her. John could deal with that. She never had to know what she did to him inside. How one look from her could turn him into a ball of molten lava. How her smile lit him up, made his day. How any pain she felt quadrupled inside him, twisting him up in knots.

Even if it was strictly lust on her part, actions were his strong suit. John wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and pulled her in for another kiss; searing in its heat, making his blood boil with need, with hunger. He swallowed her soft whimper when his tongue delved between her open lips. He teased her, explored her as she did him.

Her hands skimmed his shoulders, down his back up again, igniting a fire inside him. "Elizabeth," he moaned, breaking the kiss so he could look at her again.

Her green eyes were hazy with desire, her lips swollen and inviting. If he wasn't very careful, he could do something right now that he could never take back. Say something he might regret for the rest of his life.

He was so bad with words. So very bad. John brushed a stray curl behind her ear, letting his finger caress her cheek and down to her lips. "My Elizabeth," he whispered, not sure he actually said it out loud.

But she smiled brightly and a shimmer of tears filled her eyes. "Yes… I am."

Elizabeth thought her heart would burst when John claimed her as his. She could swear his eyes were looking right into her soul. That he knew. He had to know. She kissed him again and he kissed her back with so much passion it was amazing they didn't explode from spontaneous combustion.

John wasn't a toucher… at least not in general… but he certainly knew how to touch her. His rough hands moved gently over her face, down her neck to her shoulders. He gave her a squeeze then slid them down her back, pulling her ever closer to him, pressing himself against her so she could feel his arousal, feel how much he wanted her.

Oh, how she feared this moment. Feared what it would mean to both of them if anyone found out. But at the same time, she welcomed it. Elizabeth pushed the fear aside. She would not regret anything anymore. John Sheppard was loving her, not with words, but with himself. She felt it in his kiss, in his touch… he didn't just want her, he loved her.

McKay said a couple of hours. She had time. They had time. She could show him how much he meant to her. Elizabeth wasn't a spontaneous woman. But he was leaving again. Going into battle against the Wraith again. Just like last time.

No. If she wanted John Sheppard… she was going to have him now. Live in the moment.

Skimming her hands down his back, she reached his ass and pulled him closer to her, their hips in line with each other. John's breath hitched and he broke the kiss.

His fingers carelessly grazed the skin between her pants and shirt. "Elizabeth?"

"Seize the moment, Colonel," she breathed.

She didn't have to finish the thought. John knew it by heart. 'For tomorrow we may die' was an old adage. One he'd tried never to think about even in this galaxy. "Are you sure?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I've wanted this for a long time, John. Wanted us."

"Me too."

"Really?"

"God yes." John glanced at his watch. "How much time do we have?"

Elizabeth's grin was wicked sexy. She took a step back and pulled off her shirt. "No need to dawdle. This isn't a seduction. I'm a sure thing."

With shaking hands, John shed his clothes as he watched Elizabeth continue to undress with amazing speed. He was already fully aroused, but watching her get naked in front of him as she watched him do the same made him ache with need for release. She was fully exposed to him before he could get his pants off. He stopped trying and took her in his arms again. He had to kiss her. Touch her right now or he'd die.

Elizabeth's giggle turned into a moan when John's hands moved up from her waist to cup her even as he took possession of her mouth with his. He was being rough, he knew it and couldn't pull himself back from it. Abandoning one breast, he shoved his hand into her hair, glorying in the softness as he cupped the back of her head so he could ravish her mouth even harder. Elizabeth's whimper of surrender came along with her arms going about his neck and her pressing her body against his.

Kissing Elizabeth was like falling… then he was falling. He landed on her bed on his back. Elizabeth stood over him, smiling as her eyes ate him up. Yes, that's exactly what her eyes were doing. John felt the heat in his face, knowing he was blushing even as his ego surged because she clearly liked what she saw.

Elizabeth disposed of his boots and socks with relative ease, even though she never took her eyes from his. John's heat seared her though at the moment they weren't even touching. She felt wanton, sexy… free. In her heart, she'd always known that being with John was right.

She skimmed her hands up his covered thighs, making his breath catch as her hand grazed the hardness between his legs. She always thought she would take her time, want endless foreplay because she instinctively knew that John would be ohsogood at that. She loved his hands and now knew the talent of his tongue, she had no doubt that his touch, his skills would be wondrous. But right now, all she wanted was him. Inside her. Taking them both where they belong.

Straddling him, she kissed him lightly as she went to work on his pants. She tugged his belt free, he'd at least gotten that far before attacking her. She grinned at the thought that he couldn't keep his hands off her for another moment. Even now, as she did her best to finish undressing him, John was doing his best to distract her. His lips slid from hers, over her chin and down her neck. His hands fondled her swaying breasts, teasing her already taught nipples into aching peaks.

Elizabeth slid away, standing up on jelly legs as she tugged on his pants. John obliged by lifting his hips so she could get them down faster. She pulled his boxers along the way. John's arousal sprang up large and proud and it took all her will power not to jump right on him. But she managed to get the man fully naked moments later and he was hers for the taking. And vise versa.

John grabbed her waist with both hands and pulled her back down on top of him. She braced her hands on his chest for a moment before sliding one up into his hair and the other down over his belly. John twitched and gasped. "Um…honey…?"

Elizabeth stopped what she was doing and stared at him with wide eyes. The tiniest smile lit her lips. "Say that again."

"Honey?"

She closed her eyes for a moment and seemed to savor the word and the sentiment. "Yes, dear?"

John grinned. He liked that too. "If you keep touching me like that… I… um… well, it wouldn't be good… I mean it would be… it wouldn't…"

Elizabeth's hand came up and she put a finger to his lips then kissed him gently. "John?"

"Yeah?"

"Actions, not words."

John flipped them over and Elizabeth giggled gleefully until John's kiss swallowed the sound. Though it was their first time together and John was usually pretty good at first times—it was the whole long-term thing that kicked in his nerves for the flight response—his hands trembled as he searched out her body. This was Elizabeth Weir he was feeling-up. Not just any woman… but the most amazing… the most… damn, the best friend he's ever had. What the hell was he going to do if he didn't get it right the first time?

Once again, she seemed to be able to read his mind. Elizabeth stilled his hand as it glided over her belly. She brought it up to her lips and kissed his palm, looking him in the eyes the whole time. "I want you, John… no matter what… it's going to be amazing. I know it."

She looked so sure. John felt the tug on his heart that told him she was right. No matter what… they had each other and now they were together… everything would be fine.

Better than fine. "It's going to be fantastic," he said, kissing her again. He focused on her body, the beautiful dips and curves, the heat and scent, the feel of her writhing beneath him, panting his name with every lick, kiss and caress he tortured her with. By the time he raised her leg over his hip and slid into her, they were both breathless with desire, hungry for completion… and Elizabeth was begging him with words he'd never thought he'd hear come out of Dr. Weir's educated mouth.

She wrapped herself around him, clinging like a second skin as he moved in and out of her welcoming body. Elizabeth pleaded for each thrust, begged for another kiss and held on with her arms and legs as John complied.

When the end came, she both sought the surge of pleasure that shot through her body making her cry out John's name and mourned that the preceding climb to bliss was over. It was such an odd conflicting feeling she almost wept in confusion.

John's body shivered uncontrollably as she held on to him. His face buried into her neck, she felt a wet kiss behind her ear. "My Elizabeth," he sighed.

Elizabeth shivered in response and couldn't squash the resulting sob of joy that escaped. John raised himself on his elbows. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "God no. I'm fine. Perfect." She smiled at him, letting the tears slip over her temples. "I have you."

John kissed her lightly. He didn't want to leave now or ever. The light in Elizabeth's eyes, the sated expression on her beautiful face held him captive. "So… do you want to tell me what's been bothering you?" he teased.

Those expressive eyes widened in shock then narrowed as she caught on to his game. "Well… it's the boots, John."

"What about them?"

"I didn't know if I should leave them on or off… next time."

John grinned. "Unless you're hiding a pair of slutty stilettos in your closet, it's safe to say I like you completely naked."

Elizabeth shifted, moving against him seductively. "Think we have time before you have to go save the day?"

John felt himself wanting her all over again. For his age that was not something he was used to or would take lightly. Lowering his mouth to first one breast then the other, he suckled her to hardened peaks even as his body hardened inside hers. As he started to move against her, slowly, John groaned at the feel of her warmth surrounding him. "Honey? Maybe when I get back…from saving Ronon and the day… we should try it with the boots on."

Elizabeth's eyes glazed with pleasure. She pushed against his shoulder so that John rolled onto his back and she straddled him, rocking gently. "Will you wear the leather jacket?"

"If you want."

"Then…whatever you say, dear."

Within moments they were too caught up in each other to say anything coherent. But they finally knew each other well enough that words weren't really necessary anymore. John grinned; he'd always believed talking was overrated anyway.

END

* * *

a/n: 220 Trop ST is one of the standard steel toed boots used by the US Airforce – thank you Google!


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